Monday, June 11, 2012

What every guy wants

I'm a mom.  Did you guys know that?  It's true, I'm hanging out in the trenches with all the dirty diapers and "that's yucky!" meals and the crying and the whining and the perfect moments when I remember why I love being Momma. 

Classic Miles' pic.  Squirrel laugh, distracted kid and the top of a head.

But I get a little tired of moms and the media touting the hard job that a mother has with no mention of dad.  Yes, mom does work hard.  No, she never gets a break.  Yes, it's a thankless job.  No, there are no immediate benefits. 

But what about dad*?

What about the guy that works to make it all happen?  You know, the guy who pays the bills.  At least around here he does.  I know that not everyone has a traditional situation where mom stays home and dad works but no matter what version of life you're living, those guys of ours, they're pretty amazing**.

They rarely get a sick day (not that we do either but at least we don't have to pretend to function around other adults).  They don't get to skip work and hang out on the couch just because (have you seen my laundry room?  There has been some definite skipping around these parts).  They have to deal with the crazy they married  (okay, maybe that's just my guy, I'm sure the rest of you are sane).  The load that these men carry is staggering.  I feel like I'm a pretty strong and resourceful person but the thought of being responsible for 4 midget mouths and meeting work obligations and working on an intensive Master's program makes me want to cry.

I think that it must be confusing to be a man.  Seriously, I do.  We expect them to have all the answers yet they must always agree with us and assure us that we are right.  We want them to be strong and fearless but then we get frustrated when they won't share every feeling with us.  We expect for them to always be happy and glad to see us while we are allowed to cry and blame all of our problems on them.

Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way.  The rest of you are probably 100% supportive and never play emotional games with your partners but I'm not quite that mature.  I'm working on it and I'm probably doing better than I was when we first started but I've got a long ways to go.

So the moral of this ramble is that I love my husband.  I think he's the hardest working man I know.  I am trying to treat him with more dignity and respect.  He deserves a wife that loves and supports him and allows him room to be himself. 

Isn't that what every guy needs?
*Single moms, I don't know how you do it.  My momma was one and I know of no group of women who are stronger or more incredible.  My imaginary hat's off to you.

**Unless he's an abusive jerk, if he hurts you with words or with fists, please get out.  You're better than that.


  1. I'm working on this right now. Staying at home is definitely challenging, but it's so easy for me to forget that Husband's had a really long day as well. We're starting to learn that playing, "Who had the harder day?" is always a mistake. Being cheerful is hard, but trrrrrryyyyyying soooo hard...LOL

  2. GREAT post! I wholeheartedly agree. I think men overall get the shaft these days when it comes to their portrayal in the media.

    I feel like I am working on appreciating all he does for us more. We've been married 5+ years and have had a baby for 4 of those. I know I can improve in this area. He works all day in a stressful sales job, pays all our bills, manages our finances, does things around the house, and helps with the kids in the evening and on the weekend. And now that baby 3 is coming, the work load is only going to increase for both of us.

    Anyway, I am glad you wrote this. We should be celebrating men as much as we celebrate women.

  3. Thank you sweetheart. This is wonderful. You have been given a wonderful gift of expression and I love to watch you develop this talent.

    I agree you have a wonderful husband, great father to fabulous kids. You are both so blessed. And in a distance fashion, we are too.

  4. I wholeheartedly agree with you! I can hardly even watch tv anymore without being disgusted by some commercial or another (not to mention the shows!) where men are incompetent and a waste of oxygen. It makes me down right angry. Husbands deserve a whole lot more credit than they get. Great advice I received when I was first married, "Be your spouse's champion whenever you talk about them to anyone else." It's my job to build him up. And honestly, the more positive I THINK about him, the more positive I FEEL about him. Fancy that! Imagine, the power of positive thinking. Kristen, I love how candid you are about life, motherhood, and marriage. Thank you for sharing with us! Hugs to you!

  5. The CRAZY he married!? Hahaha! I loved that! I'm sure I don't know what you are talking about! Hahhahha!
    Our men sure do work hard. I love the family picture! You are one pretty lady! And your kids look so cute and like lots of fun!
    Kids make the world go round. :)


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