The State of Things

I'm tired.  Not unheard of, I know.  But when you're the exhausted one it feels like you're the lone sufferer.  My days start early.  That's my own fault.  I like to get up and run and then get myself ready before the kids wake up.  That makes my days really long.  I like having a clean house so I work to make it that way.  Instead of hanging out on the couch I'm cleaning the toys out from underneath.  I don't like sitting and doing nothing, I'd rather be working on a project.  Even if that project is just throwing soccer balls onto the roof so that they bounce off for my kids to chase after.

I kept meaning to take a break today and do something unproductive before my classes start back up later this week but this morning the kids were playing so nicely together that I kept doing just one more project.  Then later this afternoon they were recreating all of the wars in the history of the world so I was kept busy refereeing.  I wanted to go to bed early but instead I consoled a heartbroken baby and then went to a committee meeting.

I hate being tired because not only does it mess with my energy level but it also colors my normal happy outlook on life.  I'm less able to deal with the constant demands of the family.  Serving the people that I love begins to feel like a prison sentence instead of the vocation that I willingly and gratefully chose.  I know that a good night's sleep will change my perspective.  I know that it's not a permanent state of being but right now it feels like the only way to fit everything in is to sacrifice my sleep time.  I know, it's stupid.  If one of my friends said the same thing to me I would do my best to convince them of the idiocy of their ways (in a kind and loving way, of course) but I guess maybe I just think that somehow I'm different.  Crazy.

So the moral of this whine is that none of us are special.  We all need to get adequate amounts of rest and we need to take care of ourselves.  I haven't figured out how to do that but don't the experts say that admitting that you have a problem is the first step?

I'm not alone, right?

*see below for three burning ???'s

I've had a baby recently, have you heard?  As I've been recovering from another cesarean and dealing with more sleepless nights I'm reminded again of just how hard it is to have a baby.  Yes I know just how blessed I am.  Raise your hand if you don't know someone fighting heartbreak in the form of infertility?  I'm waiting...  yep, didn't think so.  There's always someone that has it worse than me/ you/ the general population.  So my first thought is to stuff down the feelings of frustration and exhaustion and anger in the name of "it could be worse".  Well it could be but does that make my feelings less valid?

I'm grateful, I really am.  But you know what?  I'm also tired.  I'm the sole source of comfort for a beautiful and needy baby.  If this family wants dinner I'm the one they're looking at.  If they want a ride to soccer/ ballet/ the grocery store, it's me.  If the house is going to get clean, tag, I'm it.

Let me just insert in here that the husband does more than he really has time for but he's also slaying a big giant dragon in the form of looming unemployment.  The kids are also becoming more and more self- sufficient.  For example, Anna is perfectly capable of doing laundry.  All of the kids can load their dishes in the dishwasher.  Grant is great at getting breakfast ready and Jennie has taken Nathan under her wing.  She's sort of become his shepherd or sheep dog, one of the two.  So the husband does his best.  The kids are helpful.

But they still make me crazy.  The husband can look at me wrong and I lose it.  The kids will make too much noise and I'll blow a gasket.  Maggie wakes up for the millionth time in a row and I hit the wall (literally, it hurts my hand).  Does it sound like I'm angry and bitter and down on the world?  I'm not, like I said I'm grateful.  I am very blessed but I think we do ourselves a disservice when we refuse to acknowledge the challenges we face.  Especially this roller coaster called postpartum.  It's ugly man.

I've been here before so I know that this is just a season, we'll make it through.  Until then know that I'm just trying to do my best and sometimes that means that all I've got is a short fuse and dirty laundry.

*How exactly do you hold a baby so that they don't look like a lump?  Why did I think those boots were a good idea?  And can someone please come weed my garden? It looks gross.

Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

Maggie will be month old tomorrow.  

I still don't sleep.

The house is umm, frightening.

The kids are getting sick of cereal.  Of cold cereal can you imagine?  I would have killed to have cold cereal everyday but I digress.

We found out that Maggie has acid reflux.  That's why she's been spitting up through her nose.  Weird huh?  She doesn't have any of the other symptoms like weight loss or screaming or projectile vomiting.  Just spit up through her nose.

I realize that you have responsibilities, a life, a husband, animals, etc to take care of but really I could use your help.  Plus I'm out of granola bars.  I really need some more.

I have proof of just how competent you are, here you are running payroll for hundreds of people all while comforting my crying baby and telling me that millions of women have had children and they survived so odds are good that I will too.

So like I was saying, come back Mom.  I miss you.

Love,

Your Favorite Daughter

Recently (or a classy photo dump)

What's wrong with this picture?

Let me set the stage.  It was just after 5 in the morning.  I didn't sleep great last night, who does at this stage of pregnancy?  Finally, I have several pairs of running shoes, maybe it's time to go through them and consolidate a bit...

Nope, I didn't change them.  I did my workout and just snickered at myself whenever I thought about my shoes.  For the record, let's define "workout": it was a mile and a half in 30 minutes.  My former marathon self is shaking her head in disgust but she'll pull through, she's been here before.

Step one of the classic barn fowl game.

Step 2, let the fun begin.

The first annual backyard camp out was born last week.  You'll notice there's not a place for me.  That's because my pioneer ancestors would be ashamed of me for sleeping on the ground (while expecting a child) when I have a perfectly good bed inside.

The fun lasted until about one in the morning when the thunder and lightning started.  The campers relocated to the family room floor.  I stayed in my soft bed.  It was lovely.

The rain kept coming which led to the following.

Miraculously no one fell and no blood or tears were shed.  Like I said, a miracle.

Nathan is convinced that he fits.  It could work right???

Are you still with me?  Good because here's what we do everyday.  EVERYDAY.  Because it's hot and the alternative is My Little Pony.  

I prefer skinny kids in swimsuits.

Happy Monday!

Kristen

PS- future generations should know that Grant isn't a fan of the pony show, that would be his sisters and his easily influenced brother.

No relation, just interesting (ish)

1.  Kindergartners make me mushy inside.  Especially these two.

Mine are the two looking at the camera...

I'm sorta in love with my six year olds.

2.  The best time to tackle a home improvement project is when you are 19 weeks pregnant and you and your husband are both in school and you have too few hours in the day.  FYI.

After complaining about the genius who put carpet in the dining area for a while (approximately 8 years now) we're finally ready to take the plunge.

We bought the laminate on Saturday with a strict, written in blood agreement that we would wait to install them after the semester was over.  Meaning May.

This was our main level last night right after we put the kids to bed.

Then this happened.

Look closely at the pile o' crap on the floor.  That was under our carpet.  We'd been living with that.  I also claim to be a pretty good maid...

I'd also like you to notice that pile of dust where our heat register is supposed to be.  The husband was digging around in there and found not one but two of my missing exercise DVDs.

I blame these two.

Before we called it a night the carpet was gone as well as those dangerous tack strips.  I had the extremely not difficult job of vacuuming up the years of dirt as well as any random staples, band aids and missing Barbie shoes while the handyman I married took care of the rest.  It was a pretty even trade... for me.

3.  We've finally figured out a way to read our scriptures regularly (more than once every six months), we read during breakfast.  Each of the kids reads, or repeats a verse and the husband and I read a few more.  We're kinda on a roll, it's been months since we started and we're still going strong.  It may take us approximately 27 years to make it through the scriptures but I'm just shooting for effort points not completion.

Oh and yes, my daughter is wearing a coat at the breakfast table.  My heater doesn't go any higher than 68 no matter how much snow is on the ground, it's very strange.

The Truth (according to moi)

I try not to talk about polarizing topics on this here blog for a few reasons.  First of all I'm all for people living their own lives, I don't presume to know what's best for you.  Second, when you start violently spouting your opinions then you should find facts to back up your rant and that just sounds like a lot of extra work.  Finally even though I do have strong opinions about a few things I'm pretty mellow about most things (stop laughing Mom) so why ruin the flow man?

Having said all that I can no longer remain silent.  There are some things that need to be spouted from the rooftops and shoved into people's faces.  I'm here today to talk about one of them.  If I offend you, well, better now than later after I brought you cookies and you felt obligated to be my friend forever.

I'm pulling out my soapbox now.

The words that we say define us.  They show the world who we are.  They tell those that we interact with how intelligent we are. 

When you are tempted to say the word "bling" just don't.  Please stop.  It makes you look like you're trying too hard.

Not bling.  This is a crystal chandelier.







Not bling.  These are jeans with sequins (I'll save my embellished denim rant for another day).




Finally this is not bling, this is a gross error in taste (sorry Ryan, it's not you, it's your mouth).




Thanks for letting me spew, that's five minutes you'll never get back.

All pictures stolen from Pinterest without permission.  Sorry.

30 years of wisdom or something like wisdom...

She's loving life, can you tell?

I turn 30 tomorrow.  Exciting right?

Wanna hear a few things I've learned along the way?

Cool.  Listen anyways.

1. Become friends with your parents, most of the time they're pretty awesome.
2. Don't get a tattoo, at least not in a place like your ankle where it's impossible to cover and definitely don't get something you won't love in a hundred years like oh for example, a cowboy hat and boots that people will constantly mistake for a mushroom.  Trust me, it's a bad idea.
3. Wear sunglasses and find a good eye cream.  Your eyes will thank you.  At least I hope they will, cross your fingers.
4. Recognize yourself for what you are, an excellent source of comic material.  Laugh at the stupid stuff you do.
5. Do things that are out of character and unexpected, it makes you more interesting.
6. Learn to correctly apply eyeliner.  It goes on the top lid, it goes on the bottom and the top lid but it never, never, never goes on just the bottom lid.  Trust me ladies (or dudes, I'm not judging) it looks much better that way.
7. Don't live your life waiting for approval or censure.  Just live it.  Who cares what other people think!
8. Appreciate the people you have around you.  Whether it's your family or friends, be grateful for them.
9. Eat food that makes your body feel healthy and strong.  Don't waste your time on garbage food, it's not worth it.
10. Finally, never forget the ancient truth that says: just when you think you know it all, you will be proved wrong.

 Aren't you impressed with my depths of wisdom? 

Fuzzy pictures are the best!

Just think what I'll be like in my next 30 years...

c/o Walt Disney Studios

Dear Mickey,

Hi, how are you?  How's Minnie?  Are the two of you married, I don't think that issue has ever been fully resolved.  You and I, we need to talk about something important. 

See, around the Miles' house we've been having a Friday movie night.  The head of our house is in grad school and he has class on Friday nights so it seemed like a good way for me to make it through ONE MORE night alone.

And it is.  In theory.  But here's the problem, reality is that when you have 4 children watching television at the same time you have to find something that they can all agree on.  And the reality is that Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is the one they agree on.  Aren't you proud?

But I have to say it's just not working for me.  In fact lately when you call for your friend Toodles I want to bludgeon myself in the head with one of your handy dandy Mouseketools.  I can't handle your questions.  I don't like your meaningless plots.  Mickey, I just can't deal.

So it's over.  Tonight we're going swimming.  Next week we might do something crazy and revolutionary like play board games or hang out in the backyard.

I still like the idea of Disneyland.  Your ears are pretty cool looking although I don't understand why you can't be bothered to put a shirt on.  I'm sure you're a nice mouse and Walt is probably proud of you, so good for you.  I hope you can understand why we're leaving you.  Don't worry, we're planning a super long road trip this summer so I'm sure we'll see you again.

Regretfully,

Kristen

PS-  I think you should have stuck with Steamboat Willie, that guy had potential.

Yay or Nay

Vanity Plates? Like if someone who loved to run wanted a license plate that reflected his or her love would that be weird?  Would that be in the same category as those vinyl car families (don't be offended if you have one on the back of your car, people obviously like them)?

Stripes on people who have body fat?  If someone was tired of her boring solid colored clothing could she reasonably wear stripes or would she be mistaken for a hefty prison escapee or maybe a pirate on shore leave?

And those are all my burning questions for the day. 

The end. 

Wise thoughts courtesy of my pillow.

Late at night when I can't sleep I like to think about things like how much life insurance I have, the calorie count of apples, how many miles we plan to drive this summer, how I would rule the world and other useful things along the same vein.  Miracle of miracles I think I stumbled across something in my musings that is true and applicable. 

Here it is:  I operate from a feeling of fear.

I don't really think of myself as a fearful person but I'm living my life like I'm afraid I'm going to run out of something vital.

I get great ideas to write about and then I don't.  What if that was my one great idea and I never have another?

I don't tell my husband about the funny things that happen.  I want to save it for some future conversation.

I don't eat the fresh fruit I love.  Instead I save it for later.

So what's the result? 

I don't write.

I don't talk to my husband.

I get rotten fruit.

You get the idea.  I'm afraid that this one bit of happiness is all that I'm going to get so I need to "save" it for some future drought. 

But that's not the way life works.  There are always more ideas.  There are always funny things.  There is always more fruit.

So here's to living in an abundant state of mind!

Kristen

It's one of those things...

I don't usually do this kind of thing but because it's a Monday night and instead of finishing my homework like I should... here we go.  Here's how it works.  Someone tagged me, I get to tag other people, we all get to learn frivolous and interesting information about each other.  Seems like the original intent of the internet to me!

So here are the rules (cuz we gotta have rules):

1.  Post these rules
2.  Post a photo of you and 11 things about your life
3.  Answer the questions set for you in the original post
4.  Create 11 new questions and tag people to answer them
5.  Go to their blog and tell them you've tagged them

my 2 1/2 year old took this picture as I was reaching for the camera.  the kid's got skills.

11 things about me, very interesting things.


1.  I'm writing a book.  It's going slowly but it's going.

2.  I can't stand it when people are rude to other people.  I wish people would cut each other some slack.  Stepping off soap box now. 
 
3.  I get up at 4:40 every, okay, most mornings.  

4.  I'm super tired most afternoons (see #3).

5.  Last summer I went back to college to finish the degree that I half- heartedly started 10 years ago.  I figure I'll graduate around 2092.

6.  I want to live somewhere on the eastern side of the country.  It sounds like an adventure.

7.  I've never been to the ocean.  Sad, yes, I know.

8.  I'm terrified of snakes.  Like deathly.  I keep trying to get over it but I can't seem to get past my fear.  I probably need therapy (for that and soooo many other things).

9.  Between the birth of my oldest and my twins I had a miscarriage.  It was one of the most heartbreaking and painful things I've been through.

10.  Every time I read These is my Words by Nancy E. Turner or watch P.S. I love you I bawl my guts out.  EVERY TIME.  It's a sickness.

11.  I want to be the kind of person that is unaffected by the opinion of others but I'm just not there yet.  I try and I've become better but I don't think I'll be totally calm and unruffled until ohh, I don't know, not this lifetime that's for sure.


Meredith's questions for (moi) the tagged:

1. What's the best  thing you ever ate?  Chili rellenos at a hole in the wall restaurant in high school.   So good, so unsanitary.

 2. Do you prefer the radio, Ipod, or a CD while driving?  The radio baby!  But commercials, they kinda wanna make me scream!

3. What's your most prized possession?  If only I were wise and mature I would say something like a treasured vintage piece of lace that came across the ocean but I'm not, it's my running shoes.  Brooks I love you!

4. What's your fave ride at Disneyland?  Well the only time I went was on my honeymoon so...

5. What's your favorite clothing trend from your lifetime?  Boot cut jeans.  They're my fave, I wish I were cooler but well, you didn't come here looking for fashion did you?!

6. What's the best road trip you ever took?  So far it was our trip from Utah to New Mexico, Texas and back through Arizona.  I'm doing it again this summer except it's just going to be me and the short people.  Let's see if I survive.

7. What's the first song you remember knowing all the words to?  Trisha Yearwood, She's in Love with the Boy

8. What was your favorite year of HS?  My junior year but my sophomore year was pretty good but overall let's just say that I didn't have to worry about peaking in high school.

9. What did you want to be when you grew up when you were a little kid?  I wanted to be a shampoo creator.  I used to dream up concoctions.  That or an ant- bait inventor.  Cool is what I was.

10. What's your go-to meal to make?  Grilled chicken with some sort of pasta and lots of green veggies.

11. What's the first chapter book you ever remember finishing?  The Little House on the Prairie series by Laura Ingalls Wilder.  Loved her, still do actually.

So Grace, Amanda Anjie, Cinda, JD, Modern Mia, Amanda S., Heather, Steph, and Kaydence, take a gander at these questions and if your name's not listed, well do it anyways, you know if you want, if you're into that kinda stuff, if you have time to kill, even if you don't, whatever works.  Oh and do you like how many commas I just used?  That's good grammar right there. 

1.  What was your first memory?
2.  What makes you laugh?
3.  What is the most challenging thing you've done in the last week?
4.  Why do you blog?
5.  Who inspires you?
6.  What's the grossest thing you've ever eaten?
7.  Jeans or a skirt?
8.  You're traveling to Europe, where do you go?
9.  If you could spend $500 on any one thing what would it be?
10.  What's your favorite quote/ scripture/ saying?
11.  What's your favorite flavor of ice cream/ fro-yo/ gelato/ frozen concoction?

Top 8: things that aren't really related, at all.

1.  It finally snowed here.  Like real sledding snow, yes it is March but I guess Utah didn't get that memo.

2.  There's a new museum in the valley, super cool, so much fun.

3.  Obviously I only take pictures of my youngest child.  I do have three others, they are photogenic but, well, I don't have an excuse.  The following picture is not one of my offspring.

Although they do resemble that at dinner time.

4.  I bought these earrings at the museum gift shop.  I'm a sucker for shiny, slightly strange things (sorry, you have to click to see them, the screaming in the background is not conducive to technical maneuverings).

5.  Check out this blog for an eye- opening look at the world and how you view things.  It's written by one of my best friends and one of the most tolerant and loving people you'll ever know.

6.  My sister and her husband are getting ready to adopt a baby.  Their story is beautiful and real.

7.  My other sister is visiting this week.  She's a nice little addition to our family.  Here's why: she plays Tickle Monster with the kids while I do, well, whatever it is I do all day long.

8.  While she was posing for this picture we were standing off to the side heckling her.  It's possible that she retaliated by stuffing snow down my shirt.  I threw some back but unfortunately, and this is a secret so don't tell, I'm worthless in a fight.  There might have been rude remarks made about my throwing arm.

Have a good weekend!

Kristen

Mondays of the swearing variety.

I may or may not of/ have (someone please explain that rule to me) muttered words of the four- letter persuasion when the following things did or did not happen.  Possibly, maybe, almost certainly.

One of my children came home from school with head lice.

I stepped on the scale last Monday morning and found that all of my sweat, spinach and sit-ups produced a loss of one HALF pound.

I stepped on the scale again this am and found that a diligent repeat of the three S's produced a loss of NOTHING!  That makes me want to swear again.

I walked away from my computer for approximately 3 seconds and found that one of my children had "edited" my paper.  The paper due that evening and that I had already poured the majority of my working brain cells.

Yesterday morning my daughter stepped on my bare toe with her church shoes.  That made me feel nice and spiritual.

Smelling dog poop in the middle of the grocery store and realizing that it came from my son's shoe.  The same son's shoe that was wrapped around my waist as I carried him into the store.  The same son's shoe that was so nicely tucked between my jacket and my jeans.

Hearing my son dumping domino's all over my laundry room floor.  All one hundred and ninety million of them.  In case you were wondering they make a very distinctive sound that says "you'll never find all of us, sucker!"

My youngest son got us suspended from the gym for 30 days.  That means 30 days without the gym and their 90 (per day) minutes of childcare.  I may go insane.

Happy blankety blank Monday!

Kristen

Week 6 or a chronicle of my action filled life.

This weekend I:

• lost my debit card (it's been cancelled so if you find it don't get any ideas)
• did not go grocery shopping, we're scraping the bottom of the barrel around here but I just can't find my gumption
• went to an excellent yoga class, if you're in the Salt Lake valley let me know and I'll get you the info, the teacher was AMAZING, no really she was
• took a Sunday nap, it was beautiful
• ate multiple Tootsie Roll pops, they're not even that good, I don't know what my problem was/ is
• did not give my sons or my husband haircuts, the husband is starting to get what he calls Alabama hair, poor guy
• went for a walk in the rain with my family, it was surprisingly cold
• lost 1 1/2 pounds, okay so I didn't lose that all over the weekend, it took a whole week but still!

Those are just the highlights, we live an exciting life.  Can you tell? 

Happy Monday!

Kristen

Oh and this contest, it's interesting.  So far I haven't made it into the top 5 but I'm hoping to be one of the slow and steady losers and eventually come out on top!  That's the plan anyway, so I should probably stop eating Tootsie Rolls...

Don't let the pouty lip and chubby cheeks fool you.

Look at this innocent baby boy.

There's no way that could be responsible for this.  Right?

Wrong!  Oh so wrong.  In case it's hard to tell from my awesome iPhone pics, the door is off it's hinges, the doorknob is in pieces and my hands are covered in door grease.  Who knew there was such a thing? 

Here's how the conversation went with my 2 1/2 year old on the side with a lock and me on the other.

Me: "unlock the door please."

Boy:  "okay Momma."

Me:  "please turn the knob and unlock the door."

Boy:  "I love you Momma."

Me:  "I love you too, please unlock the door."

Boy:  "Mickey Mouse Choo- Choo Express!"

Me:  "Please turn the water off and unlock the door."

You can imagine the rest, it went on for a while.

Yes I tried picking the lock.  Didn't work.  I tried taking the doorknob apart.  Didn't work.  Finally I resorted to taking the hinges off and pulling the door off that way.  And when I rescued him from his prison did I get a thank you?  Nope.  I did get an inspection of my tools and a semi- nice request for Mickey Mouse.

All before lunchtime.

Yay me.

Mental Health Tuesday

So it's not an official day but I'm thinking it should be.  Oh and here's a funny for you, when I was typing the title I wrote "Turday".  I couldn't figure out why it looked wrong...

Here's a view of our laundry room floor at 6:45 this morning.

I made an executive decision early this morning.  We needed a day to read books, make valentines, eat graham crackers and take an afternoon nap.

Happy Tuesday!

Kristen

PS- Week 5 pictures coming, umm, soonish.

PPS- The oldest has only missed 1, maybe 2 days of school this year so don't judge.

Have glue, will travel.

We have this counter to the right of our stove.  It's approximately 3.9 half inches wide.  Translation:  it's super useful for nothing, nothing at all. 

Until now.

Tada!  It's our glue spot.  Everyone should be so lucky.

Happy Wednesday!

Kristen

Top 8: things that make me insane, crazy, nuts, pick a word!

She doesn't make me crazy (most of the time) I just like her cute baby face circa 2007!

1.  Hopping on the treadmill only to find that it needs maintenance, then moving to the next one and seeing that it says the same thing.  Three treadmills later...
2.  Finding out that the reason you missed a question on your math test was because you used an "x" instead of a "w". 
3.  Running out of socks.  That laundry fairy is really slacking these days.
4.  Calling IT support to fix a computer program and finding out that the reason it wasn't working was because one of your short offspring had moved it to the recycling bin.  Actually that doesn't make me crazy, embarrassed is more like it.
5.  Turning on the radio and hearing the tail end of your current favorite song.  Sad.
6.  The multiplying paper pile by the microwave.  They're like bunnies.  Bunnies on fertility treatments.
7.  Getting comfortable on the couch with a good book and warm children and hearing the phone ring.  From the other room.  Up the stairs.  And it stops before you manage to extract yourself from the pile.  And it's a lame recorded message.
8.  Trying to brush my daughter's hair while she's dancing and telling me what a great ballerina she will be.  Did I mention that she's moving?

Good times around here.

In other news I have a final on Thursday then I plan to spend some time fixing this site.  I look at other excellent bloggers likeThrifty Decor Chick, Camp Patton and yours, mine & ours and am semi- inspired to change things up around here. 

Suggestions? 

See ya later!

Kristen

Cold, cold and just a bit more cold.

My toes are cold.  My fingers are cold.  My whole body is cold.  I'm trying to convince the husband to move somewhere warm like St. George or number one on my list, Mexico.  He's not buying it.  Probably because every summer I beg to move to Montana or Alaska.  Oh well, I'll keep trying. 

Look, proof that there was a time we could go outside without a coat and a hat and gloves and a scarf and...

Super whiny tonight,

Sorry.  It's probably because it's SO DANG COLD!!!

Sorry again, I'll try to control myself.

PS- I think my baby is the best looking kid in the world, well, except for my other 3, they're pretty stellar also.

I've got it all: part dos

Sometimes I get these great ideas about multiple part projects and then I start and well, maybe one part turns out to be enough.  That's what happened with this post here.  I kept thinking about it and mulling over it and I just couldn't come up with more than what I had already said.  So here we are with just one part and maybe a half of a one part series.  Exciting I know but that's the way I roll.

Lately I've been feeling almost overwhelmed with gratitude for this life I have and the wonderful people that are living it with me.  Sure there's never enough money or time or energy to do half of the to-do list but things are still pretty great.  I wonder how much of that is just my expectations, are things good because I expect them to be or because they just are?  I don't know but however it happens I'm pretty happy with this life I've been blessed with.  

In other exciting news, it's my twin's birthday.  They're one hand old.  Cool huh?

Here's what I looked like 5 years ago.

Makes you wanna cry huh?  Me too.

Have a good day peeps!

Kristen