The best place to watch a parade is from the side of the road while lying on your belly. You're closer to the candy that way.
If one band-aid doesn't do the job, try seven. You're sure to feel better then.
The most important part of any birthday is the cake. Same goes for weddings. Graduation. Baby showers. Tuesdays. You get the point.
Please go practice your picture smile. Then maybe you can look as natural and un-posed as Pinky. Or not.
It's more fun to play in sprinklers fully clothed. Try it sometime.
Score for Momma when Daddy comes to the park. "Daddy wants to race you up the stairs. No, really he does."
When your walk around the neighborhood gets to be too much, just take a break. No one will mind if you just stretch out in their driveway. Especially not if your pants are dangerously low and your shirt is in the crop top family.