Monday, October 22, 2012

Completely unrelated but equally stellar

One night the husband and I were getting ready for a night of fun.

We searched and searched but could not find Antiques Roadshow anywhere on our fancy television. 

I know, you're also shocked and dismayed.  The husband rapidly flipped through our 3 channels with no luck.  Finally we looked at the clock.

It was 5:30. 

In the PM.

Also known as late afternoon.

We had put our four children to bed slightly early, as in approximately an hour and a half to two hours early.  Go us!! 

Hey, in our defense it was already dark outside and the kids can't tell time (apparently we can't either) and obviously they were tired or I'm sure we would have heard from them... probably.

Moving on now.  Here's another awesome story for you.  My grandpa passed away a little while ago (he was very sick so it was definitely expected).  My dad called and asked me to let my siblings know.  It was getting to be late at night so rather than rudely calling my siblings and messing with their evening routine I thought I'd just send out a nice group text letting them know what was going on.  And yes, I know, my "tell people things in a thoughtful and tact way" gene is missing.  I'm looking into surgery.

I put my brother on the list, my sister, my mom and then, well things went awry.  My other brother had two contacts.  I wasn't sure which number to choose but because I'm super smart and not at all lazy I chose both.  I composed my little message and said, actually, let's move to conversation format.  Are you ready?

me (to the group):  Grandad passed away.  The funeral is on Saturday in Animas, burial in Virden.  Love you guys.

(few minutes pass....)

Adrian (my other brother):  who is this?

me (remember I'm not a grown up yet):  your alter ego

Adrian:  seriously who is this?

me:  someone who's way cooler than you

Adrian:  I am serious, you are starting to freak me out, who is this?  What happened to Grandad?

(okay, at this point I'm starting to think something is up...)

me:  it's Kristen, your favorite sister, I just wanted to let you know what was happening

"Adrian":  I don't know who you are but you obviously have the wrong number

me:  oh no!!!! (crap) I am so sorry!!  (why am I such an idiot) I don't know how to act like a grown up, (when will I ever not be so clueless) I am so sorry (I am a moron).  Your Grandad is okay (great, now I've freaked out some dude).  I thought you were my brother (crap).  I am very sorry (deleting contact...).

Let's review just a sampling of the ways I went wrong: 1- you never tell someone in a text that their loved one is no longer on Earth, 2- you don't insult people who are trying to figure out who you are and 3- delete old contacts.

I tell you these unfortunately true stories to make you, dear reader, feel better.  See, no matter how socially clueless or inept at parenting you may think you are, YOU'RE NOT!!

Love you guys!!


  1. ahhhhhhh. dying over that text story.


  2. Hey, I think the 5:30 bedtime was a parenting win. Obviously they were tired enough to fall asleep. =)

    Are you sure it was a guy that you texted? It could have been a woman. Poor person.
    (But yeah, very funny story now.)

  3. Wow. I may be your alter ego because that texting story is something my friends would call "classic Kate." Those things always happen to me.

    And I'm so happy I'm not the only one who takes advantage of the fact that kids can't tell time.

    Great post.

  4. Yikes. I am a total text to avoid uncomfortable convo (with possible crying) kinda girl. This ALMOST made me think twice...but alas, I am sure my day is coming for something equally awkward and unintentionally malicious. Hehe. At least I will know I am in good company! ;)

  5. I am laughing out loud here! Although, I am very sorry to hear of your loss (my Papa passed away this past February (also expected) so I feel for you), you have such a way of telling a story that one cannot possibly refrain from laughing. Thank you for the smiles!


I wanna hear what you have to say, so write. Pretty please.