Monday, October 8, 2012

True story, I held the evidence.

I'm on the post once a month plan.  I see potential in this idea.  Of course I see potential in many things like Peanut Butter M&Ms and chocolate donut holes.  Sorry inside joke.  Is it rude when people say things like "you had to be there" or "inside joke, you wouldn't understand"?  Ya, I don't think so either.

Okay, okay, I'll tell you.  Get ready to be impressed.  Let me share a few disclaimers first.  One, if you have an aversion to bodily functions click that little X at the top right corner.  Second, if you've never praised all that is good and holy for the invention of Clorox wipes you might not find this funny.

Is anyone still there?  Hello....

I woke up early one Saturday morning (I won't tell you how early, you'll cry) determined to be productive and responsible before ditching the kids and the husband to "run" with my neighbor.  We call it "running" but really we head to our neighborhood gas station and troll for chocolate milk but I digress.  Early Saturday morning I headed down to our cave of a basement to make the laundry switch.  I started pulling the clothes out of our antique dryer when I noticed brown marks all over our clean clothes.  "Weird", I said to myself.  "Oh well" and I kept pulling things out, the next thing I found was a chocolate doughnut hole.  In my dryer.  "That's interesting, I wonder who had doughnuts and where's mine?".  I finished emptying the dryer and found brown pin-striping decorating the walls of my dryer.  "Wait a second... WHAT????!!!!!  That's no DOUGHNUT HOLE, that's, that's (she stutters) that's ______!!!!!"

Yep, there was a log o' crap in my dryer.  Somehow it made it through the entire wash cycle and a good 90 minutes in the dryer.  Even better, I held it in my hand.




14 comments:

  1. Seriously, that's the funniest thing I've heard all day! Thanks for the laugh. Now, way too many questions come to mind on the who, how, why, etc. but they're not really that important.

    How did clean up go? =)

    PS I'm on the monthly posting schedule too. But, I've missed reading your blog. It's one of my all-time favorites.

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  2. Chocolate donut holes will never look the same. It's great that you thought "where's mine?" I would have done the same thing!

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  3. The entire office is wiping away of 'been there'. You did a great job of writing this up.

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  4. Sorry that was supposed to say Tears of 'been there'

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  5. So, this was before your morning chocolate fix. Please tell me you weren't tempted before you figured it out.

    Diana

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  6. LOL! I'm dying laughing, Kristen. But, in all seriousness, it is incredible that it survived the wash and the dryer. Were you able to get the clothes clean after drying the stains in? I hope so. Oh the joys of motherhood!

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  7. Whoever the mystery pooper is, they've got themselves some poop of steel. Of steel I tell you!

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  8. Happened to my sister in law. Honest. Wash dry...poo. Repeat...three times before she finally found all the little soldiers. Three turds with amazing staying power. Hehe. I check my laundry a little closer now!

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  9. I wish I could say this has never happened to me. I really wish I could. My reaction/thought process was the same, "It has to be chocolate, right?" Wrong.

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  10. Oh wow. At least it's clean, right?! GAG.

    I can't say I've found it in the dryer...but I have little "chocolate" bits scattered across the carpet with no explanation...(I'm assuming a toddler felt like lightening the load in their diaper a bit). But my favorite clean-up was the time they decided to change each others' diapers...

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  11. OH NOOOOO!!!!! Oh that is just terrible. I'm passing you the the worst week baton. I clearly don't deserve it...

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  12. And I thought crayons in the dryer were bad....

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  13. OH DEAR LORD, WOMAN. I'm gagging. I'm laughing. I'm..I'm...I'm going to go drink now.

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